Seasons, wisdom, maturity

Mission Trip-Mexico-2000

At age 51, I realize how little I knew then and how much more I still have to learn and to grow. At age 28, I was asked to chaperone 4 teenage girls as a youth leader… leader? Ha! I had not even had any children myself yet! But it was a beautiful,challenging, enlightening, amazing experience with lots of love, gratitude, sweat, muscle and tears as we built a slab house for a family. 

I look back and I wonder where these girls are today. I pray that I planted some good seeds even though I was so inexperienced and didn’t even know how to have a healthy relationship myself. I barely knew how to be a friend let alone a mentor. But I know the Lord is faithful. My hope is He took my inadequacies and covered them in His perfection and made something good from my willing heart as I poured into these young ladies. 

Now here I am with one young adult son and another about to be a senior in high school and I wonder where has all the time went? A new season of motherhood could be in my very near future in a spiritual sense and my prayer is that I don’t  miss the opportunity and that I have some good to share amidst all my failures. Maybe it will look like this…”here’s what not to do…”

I suppose we are hardest on ourselves. As I spoke to a friend over coffee this morning I am reminded that we are our own worst enemies. We are quick to give grace to others meanwhile we are beating ourselves up. 

There will always be critics. There will always be someone who thinks they can do it better than you or that they have the corner market on how to solve all your problem and raise your children. But on the flip side you have those who cheer you on, love you, support you, pray for you, believe not only in you but in the Father who is so good and faithful. At the same time these will also speak truth but it will be through a waterfall of cascading love. For these dear and precious souls, I am grateful to God. Without them, I would find it hard to pull myself out of bed in the morning. These are the ones that see beyond the mess. Don’t get me wrong for they are not unaware of the mess, but they see more. They see with eyes of the spirit. 

This is the place I want to always live from. May I always see through the eyes of the Father.